Time for a feel good wonder, because while beauty and makeup are my thang, the other half of the equation has a little more substance and purpose in life. I have been a super lucky duck to have been surrounded with some of the most incredible women during my life and when I was teeny tiny, I started to learn a few very important things about women and our role in the big, wide world. We are special creatures because of our compassion, empathy, strength, not to mention our amazing abilities to bond, uplift, and encourage those we meet along the way. We are the face of power in the darkest moments, the shining light to others facing innumerable fears.
Sadly, while many of us know this or are told about it, when we hit the dreaded teenage years, there are a million other distractions which lead us a bit skewiff – boys (never ending distraction – or not-boys depending on your preference), gossiping, social dramas, appearances, judgement (my favourite word of the week), expectations and self-criticism. It takes a hell of a long time to grow out of or past all that junk, I’m in my (almost LATE!! EEK!) 20s and every single one of those points still crops up in my daily life. This is generally not a problem unless all that crap starts to dominate our lives long term.
I went to a speaker a few weeks ago who talked about judgement and self-love (I know, totally hippy.) but she presented it in such a way that I didn’t feel like I was being told by some flower child to love my inner self and go join an ashram. This was an intelligent woman – and what she was driving home to us was the need to look at our habits of judgement towards ourselves and others as this is our number 1 limiting factor in life.
She made us all write down all the horrible things we think and feel about ourselves and when I was (eventually!) done, I thought jeez louise, I cant even imagine the most horrible person saying this kind of stuff to someone else. How the hell is it alright for me to say this stuff to myself every day? What horrified me though is that my amazing, strong, beautiful, empowering, world-ruling mother sitting beside me also had half a page of negativity staring her in the face.
We all have our scars, our childhood hurts, our family dramas, our heavy shoulders from things that have stung us in the last, not to mention our insecurities, hang ups, abuse, traumas, mental health issues and physical ailments. One day when I’m feeling brave, I might tell you my story, one day you might feel brave and tell me yours. But if I can give you one priority this week it is to catch yourself every time you think or feel a negative or judgemental thought either towards yourself of another person or thing. And say stop.
Our role here is to help each other to be the absolute best we can be and to live life for one sole purpose – to experience OUTRAGEOUS Joy. It is a little hard to do that when you are hating on your bank account, body, wardrobe, that girls hair, the thing whatshername said, Kim K’s lack of clothes this week or whatever. Try for 5 days to accept what you have and what you are (because let’s face it, not much will change instantly on account of your criticisms) and stop yourself before a thought becomes a judgement – just observe instead.
The more you and I practice this, the better our own perspective on life will become and the more energy we will have to encourage and support those other beautiful women (and men!) who really need a helping hand.